Hold Fast
by LyricalMedley
Summary: Merlin has been missing for nearly two months, and Gaius is fearing the worst. Unbeknownst to the physician, a deeply wounded, weary warlock is stumbling back towards Camelot. *MAJOR MERLIN WHUMP*
1. Chapter 1

Nearly two months had passed since Merlin disappeared. Arthur had sent out multiple search parties, each scowerring more of the surrounding kingdoms, each party returning short one warlock. Arthur was beginning to loose hope as he feared Merlin was never to return. And Arthur's heart broke more and more as he saw how Merlin's absence had begun to affect those around him. Particularly Gaius.

Gaius knew Merlin had the power to hold his own. But he also knew that Morgana's power had grown tenfold since they last caught sight of her. Gaius was thankful for the duity's he had to fulfill every day. They gave him something to keep his mind occupied. Every day he went about making sure King Arthur, Gwen, and the knights were feeling well. He made an extra effort to check on Arthur on most evening.

Arthur wouldn't admit it, but the more he talked with Gaius, the more he felt some peace amidst the chaos of searching for his friend. And it was when they talked, that if only for a brief moment, Arthur saw the light return to Gaius eyes. Arthur made sure that their late evening chat's always concluded in him escorting the court physician home to his chambers. As the months wore on, Arthur had taken to entering Gaius chambers and remaining till Gaius was ready to rest for the night.

Evening had befallen Camelot, and the weather was no better then it had been all week. Spring was just around the corner, but the torrential rain was most chilling. It was one of the coldest evenings to date, as Gaius settled in for the night. He could still hear Arthur's footsteps receding, echoing down the corridor that led back to the castle. A sudden flash of lightning cause the old man to jump. Glancing up Gaius saw the tail end of the lighting split the sky. He heard the reverberating thunder boom ominously, as the night promised to be another restless night. Evenings were particularly hard for Gaius, as his mind began wonder. He shivered as thoughts of Merlin, sick, and hurt seemed to materialize in his minds eye. As much as Gaius hated thinking of Merlin badly injured or worse, Gaius just wanted Merlin home. He didn't want to walk into his chambers any more, call out for Merlin, only to have the silence answer him back.

Just days before Gaius had given in to opening Merlin's bedroom door. He knew it would pang him to see it barren, but he needed to teach his heart to accept what his mind already knew to be true. All biet the one thing Gaius did not want to believe, he knew that if Merlin was at Morgana's mercy, Merlin couldn't hold out for much longer. Gaius had a feeling that Morgana wouldn't hold anything back in her unnerving search for Emyrs. Gaius sighed as he sat down on his cot. Gaius knew who Emyrs truly was. And if Morgana found out that she held captive, the very sorcerer she sought after so vehemently, Merlin was doomed.

Thunder boomed angrily as Gaius lay down, and pulled the covers over his shoulders. Turning to his side, the physician felt the first tear fall. Pulling the covers tightly around his shoulder's Gaius carried on the same nightly ritual he'd fallen prey to since Merlin had vanished. Gaius no longer fought the sorrow. The sorrow that seemed to burst forth, after being pent up throughout the day.

Once Gaius was asleep, the room fell quiet. The fire crackled as the soup he'd made for dinner went untouched. Gaius had gotten into the habit of making Merlin's favorite soup, in the hope that it would aid the swift return of his ward. But Gaius soon found that the soup tasted bitter. The soup did not taste the way it used to when Merlin had been there to enjoy it along with him. Gaius fell into a deeper sleep as the night war on. Normally the booming storm out side would've kept Gaius awake. But sleep had given Gaius a temporary reprieve.

Grief, as it seemed, was something Gaius had always been acquainted with. He held a deep respect for it. He knew that grief was the body's way of processing pain, both emotional and physical. So it was every evening that Gaius gave in to the weight on his shoulder's. But as every night yielded the same out come with Merlin's bed still being void, Gaius learned that he had an inner strength he had long since forgotten. Gaius's own grief seemed to startle him.

Whilst Gaius's grief held a power in it of itself, he feared what Arthur's reaction would be if he saw Gaius in such a state. And for that reason, he fought to hide his sorrow from the king. Gaius knew Arthur was feeling the same pain as he was. But he feared that Arthur would crumble if he saw how broken Gaius had become.

* * *

The night sky was set ablaze as a weary traveler struggled to make his way through the thick forrest. The traveler jumped as the thunder followed the lightning. Looking up, the young man could barely make up the silhouette of Camelot's walls. He knew he hadn't far to go. But he knew he had only just passed the limits of his physical strength. He was fully relying on what little magic he had left to aid him in his return home. He also knew that his body was fighting the horrendous poison that he had been forced to ingest. And not just any poison.

Merlin shook his head as visions of Morgana forcing the mandrake juice down his throat at knife point. Merlin shivered as he felt his stomach churn as the smell of the poison seemed all to familiar. The we earth reminded him of the smell of the soup he had been allowed to have. But Morgana had put mandrake in the food as well.

Merlin had lost track of how long Morgana had held him prisoner. But he saw her frustration grow every time she entered his cell. She was always accompanied by two guards, who acted as the predecesor to Morgana's interrogation. A few kicks to the stomach, shins, and arms usually had Merlin laying on his side with in moments.

It was every evening that Morgana would ask Merlin the same question. She was desperate to know the whereabouts of Emyrs. She knew that Merlin had enough affiliation with Gaius that he must have some idea of where the sorcerer resided. But every evening Merlin would refuse to answer. After every refusal, Morgana would have the guards hold Merlin upright, and she would force more poison down his throat.

As Merlin continued to struggle through the forrest, he half chuckled as he thought of how lucky he'd been. The last week of his imprisonment, Merlin had grown so ill from the poison he hadn't been able to keep it down. Merlin snorted as he recounted looking Morgana in the eye.

Morgana had forced him to his knee's knowing full well what was most likely to occur. She placed a knife to his throat, forcing him to face the cobblestone floor. The poison had already begun to seep up his throat when he Morgana spoke.

"Where...is...Emyrs..?" Morgana spat venomously.

Merlin groaned, and doubled over gagging ardently. He felt the cool blade press against his throat. It was too late. Merlin lurched forward and threw up all over the floor. Merlin felt his whole body shudder as he heaved ardently. Then suddenly, he felt his whole body jolt violently. The cool blade that had been held at his throat, was now embedded in his right side

Glancing over his shoulder, Merlin saw a smile twist it's way upon Morgana's face. She quickly pulled the blade out, causing Merlin to scream. Merlin had collapsed on the spot. That was the last detail of his capture Merlin could recall before he'd woken up in the forrest.

It had taken Merlin nearly a whole day before he'd found any landmark that gave him a sense of direction. He stumbled upon a lake and spent the night there. When he awoke the next morning, he nearly passed out as he realized that this particular lake was at least two days journey from Camelot. But all was not lost. Merlin knew of this lake, and breathed a sigh of relief as he now knew his way home.

The two days journey had stretched into a near six day journey, as Merlin's strength was wearing thin. He had used his magic to kill a rabbit, but found that the poison was too far embedded in his body to keep anything down. He was at least thankful that he could keep water down.

Merlin had tried in vein to keep his wound as clean as he could, but he could tell by the chills that overpowered him at night that he had a fever. He knew an infection, and he had one. His vision had begun blur, and he couldn't ward of the fits that seemed to catch him off guard suddenly. The pain was searing hot, and seemed to engulf every cell in his body. As evening would settle upon Merlin, he would start a fire and hope that he'd make it through the night. But the rain ruined any attempt to keep warm. Merlin knew that if he didn't find his way to Gaius soon, he would not make it.

* * *

Merlin shook his head in an attempt to pull himself from his thoughts. He knew it would not do, to dwell on all Morgana had put him through. His side however, seemed to remind him constantly that all though he was a warlock, he was human too. Human, and mortal.

Thunder boomed ominously as if to remind him of the time present. Merlin looked up and saw he was standing at the very edge of Camelot. Slowly, Merlin stumbled towards the bridge that lead to the court yard. The first set of steps that lead up to the main part of the castle seemed to carry on forever.

Merlin was shivering so violently he had to stop and rest every couple of feet. It wasn't until he made his way to the steps of the court physicians chambers, that Merlin felt his knee's wobble. He began to breathe loudly as he felt his head start to spin. Steeling himself, Merlin glanced down at his side. His blue tunic, was now a deep crimson color.

Merlin felt his throat tighten with tears as he realized how close he was to being home. To being safe. His stomach began to tie with knots as he feared what he would find when he opened the door to his home. He wondered for a split second if Gaius had noticed his absence. A wave of pain, called him to his senses. He moaned and fell sideways. The cool stone wall seemed to ebb his fever slightly. Merlin couldn't fight the sorrow. His shoulder's shook as he gave into the pain. He wrapped both arms around his middle as the pain surged forth.

Merlin began to whisper oath's to himself, as he fought to steel his strength. His legs felt like lead, and he didn't know if he could make it up to the door. He felt like his cries would turn into full blown wails at any given moment. Gathering his strength, Merlin groaned as he rose to a stand.

Turning around he placed his right leg upon the first step. The moment he bore his weight on it, a gush of warm blood emanated forth. Merlin bit back his groan with all his might. He fell to his haunches, gripping his side even tighter.

"Gaius..." Merlin whimpered.

Merlin reached forward and pulled himself up the stairs. His arms were trembling so badly, that Merlin was wheezing ardently. Every step seemed to cause a torrent of blood to emanate from his side. By the time he reached the last step, he realized that he might collapse if he stood.

"Oh...no..." Merlin wheezed.

Placing his feet under himself, Merlin slowly rose to a stand. He quickly braced himself, placing his hands on either wall to the side. Glancing over his shoulder, Merlin gasped as he saw the crimson trail that now lead up to Gaius door step. Merlin began to painic. Slowly he clasped the latch, and leaned his head against the door.

Merlin opened the door slightly, and slipped in. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against the wall. He was trembling as he scaned the room. He saw there was a pot of stew simmering over the flames that now lept inside the fireplace. Merlin felt tears sting his eyes as his nose caught the faintest smell of a stew that he remembered loving. Merlin had hoped that Gaius would have missed him. But the soup, made him feel ashamed. He seemed to always cause Gaius to worry.

The moment Merlin thought of Gaius, he glanced over to where Gaius's cot was. He saw the Gaius slumbering silhouette, and his heart broke. His legs started to shudder as he forced him self to not give in to the temptation to collapse on the floor on the spot. Merlin glanced up and saw that the door to his room was wide open. It was then that the length of the room doubled before his very eyes. Merlin glanced down, and saw the wound was gushing again. It was purely a miracle that he hadn't passed out by this point. Merlin breathed a sigh of relief as he realized his magic had been a constant aid in his ability to carry on.

Slowly, Merlin stumbled across the room. He stopped at table and paused. Breathing hard, he wrapped his arm around his middle. Gaius snorted suddenly, causing Merlin to jump. Merlin groaned as he felt his side gush once more. Shaking his head he stumbled over to the stairs that lead to his room. Reaching forward, he began to pull himself up each step. It wasn't until he reached the last step, that his body started to give out.

Merlin pulled himself up the final step, and screamed. Immediately Merlin crawled over to the side of his bed, and sat down with his back against the night table. He clamped his hand over his mouth, and looked down. His wound was bleeding badly. Merlin was shaking so badly. He placed his hands against his side and pressed down hard. Merlin groaned as he fell to his opposite side.

All time seemed to come to a stand still as Merlin lay still, holding his hands over his side. Merlin took in a deep breath and spoke as loudly as he could muster.

"GAIUS!" Merlin yelled.


	2. Chapter 2

Gaius awoke with a start. The storm continued to rage on angrily as Gaius looked around the room. He had heard the thunder roll, but he was almost certain he had heard something else. Something didn't feel right. He couldn't place his finger on what he had heard.

Gaius rose, and made his way over to his desk. Grasping a candle, he bent towards the fire place to light it. Slowly he made his way around the room to light the few candles that had gone out. It was then, he noticed the front door wasn't shut fully. Nearing it, he gasped as he saw a red stain upon it. It was in the shape of a hand print.

Gaius slowly reached out to close it, but something else caught his eye. Slowly he opened the front door. If it wasn't for the torches in the corridor, Gaius would never have noticed the crimson trail that now led up the stairs.

"Upon...my..word.." Gaius stammered, faltering backwards.

The sight of blood seemed too reminiscent of the nightmares that seemed to haunt his sleep. His mind suddenly cleared and he turned on his heel, slamming the door shut behind him. He rested against the door, and looked down. Blood lay splattered across the room. The moment his eyes began to follow the trail, he felt his throat grow dry.

Gaius glanced up and stared straight ahead, his eyes focusing on the barren room at the foot of the stairs that was now blanketed by darkness. No sooner had he looked to Merlin's room, did a flash of lightning dart across the sky. He then saw the figure that lay, crumbled on the floor.

"_MERLIN!_" Gaius yelled, breaking into a run.

Gaius stopped briefly at the dining room table and grabbed his medic kit. He grunted as his legs protested the climb up the stairs to Merlin's room. The moment he entered the room, he felt his knee's start to falter.

Merlin lay curled up tightly on his side, with his knee's pulled up to his chest. He was shaking vehemently. Gaius stopped short of Merlin as he saw a crimson stain spreading from where Merlin lay.

"Merlin..?" Gaius asked, his voice shaking.

Gaius fell to his knee's as he crouched down before Merlin. Merlin had his eyes closed tightly. He was breathing rapidly, each breath as shaky as the last. Gaius knelt forward and placed his hands on Merlin's neck. A weak pulse barely met Gaius's trembling fingers.

Gaius leaned back, and saw Merlin was looking right at him. His eyes were barely open. Gaius saw Merlin's gaze fall to the spreading pool of blood, and back to him. Gaius saw multiple tears fall as Merlin's face crumbled. Merlin opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it promptly.

"Don't speak Merlin..." Gaius soothed.

"Can you move?"

Merlin burst into tears as his strength seemed to fade away. He couldn't help it. He was exhausted, his side was on fire, not to mention the poison that was still coursing through his veins.

"Shhhh...Easy Merlin..." Gaius soothed again.

"Where are you injured?"

Gaius stooped over, and pulled Merlin up. Gaius gasped as Merlin's dead weight met his grasp. Merlin's head bobbed forward as he felt Gaius jolt him upright. Merlin pulled his head up, and looked to Gaius. Bracing Merlin's shoulders, Gaius stopped, and tried to look Merlin in the eye.

Merlin fell forward, burying his head in Gaius's chest and shivered mightily. Gaius promptly held Merlin tighter as he felt the warlock's frame shudder. Merlin cried harder as he felt Gaius wrap his arms around Merlin. Gaius did not move until he felt Merlin calm himself.

Gaius pulled back, and placed his arms under Merlin's. He stood slightly and pulled Merlin up to a stand. The moment Merlin was on his feet, he felt a warm fluid radiate from his side.

"No..no...no..." Merlin mumbled.

"Merlin!?" Gaius yelled.

Merlin seemed to lurch forward, clasping his side. He moaned falling forward suddenly. Gaius steadied him and tried to pry Merlin's arm away from where it rested. Merlin jerked back, breathing loudly.

"Gaius...please..." Merlin cried.

Gaius gently helped Merlin to his cot. Merlin sat down and leaned forward. Gaius knelt down and allowed Merlin to rest his head on his shoulder. Gently he moved Merlin's arm and gasped as he saw Merlin's entire tunic was saturated in deep crimson.

"Merlin..." Gaius gasped.

"It's no use Gaius.." Merlin stammered.

Merlin placed his arms around his middle, and held tightly. He groaned as the pain seemed to grow at the slightest movement. Merlin began to breathe loudly, and his whole frame grew taught. With all his might Merlin tried to summon his magic. Gaius gasped as he a familiar golden hue flash across Merlin's eyes.

"Merlin, no..." Gaius chided.

"You don't have enough-"

Merlin whimpered falling sideways. Gaius caught him and wrapped his arms around Merlin's shoulders. Gaius stood and sat next to Merlin. For a moment Gaius held Merlin, trying to soothe the trembling warlocks pain away.

"There's...more..." Merlin uttered quietly.

"What do you mean 'more'?" Gaius asked, facing Merlin.

Merlin moaned as he felt a surge of poison pass over him. Gaius leaned forward as he heard Merlin moan. He saw Merlin had closed his eyes tightly. Merlin couldn't help it as he felt the tremors start. Gaius felt Merlin jolt suddenly, and gasped as he saw Merlin shake his head.

"Gaius, you might want to-" Merlin spat.

Merlin's entire frame started to convulse as the poison pulsated forth once more. Gaius saw Merlin's jaw clench as Merlin hunch over. Gaius held tightly to Merlin's shoulders.

"Merlin!" Gaius yelled.

Leaning over, Gaius saw Merlin had his arms wrapped around his legs. Glancing over, Gaius saw Merlin's wound was bleeding again. Gaius took a hand and moved it to cover Merlin's side.

"No..." Merlin groaned.

"Merlin, I have to-" Gaius pleeded.

"Gaius!" Merlin interrupted, his voice shaking.

Gaius gasped, and put his hand back on Merlin's shoulder. He knew enough to tell when Merlin needed him to trust him. With in moments Gaius felt Merlin's trembling start to lessen.

"I'm sorry...I ...Oh please..no.." Merlin sobbed.

"Merlin, are you all right?" Gaius yelped.

"Sick..." Merlin stuttered, swallowing hard.

Letting go of Merlin's shoulders, Gaius rose and found an empty bucket. Quickly he brought it over and placed it before Merlin. Merlin groaned as he glanced at the bucket.

"Merlin, what is it?" Gaius asked.

Merlin groaned in response as he summoned his magic. Gaius clasped his shoulders again, gasping as he saw the warlocks eyes turn golden. Merlin's whole body heaved as he leaned forward. The heaves seemed to take a massive amount of energy, as Gaius felt Merlin growing weaker after every surge.

With a final surge, Merlin sighed as he felt his stomach calm itself. He coughed as he felt his throat grow dry suddenly. He was breathing heavily when Gaius spoke.

"What was that?" Gaius asked.

Merlin shook his head, as he groaned loudly.

"Merlin, please.." Gaius pleaded.

"Tell me..."

"So...tuh..tyrrd" Merlin stammered, faltering sideways.

Gaius sighed as he rose to a stand, still holding onto Melrin's shoulders. Gently he helped Merlin lay down. Looking down, he saw the bucket on the floor. Gaius stooped down and picked it up. Slowly he made his way down the steps and stopped by the fire place.

A sudden knock at the door cause Gaius to jump. Nearly dropping the bucket, Gaius placed it on the floor. He wondered over to the door as quickly as he could.

"Gaius?" A voice called out from the other end.

Gaius opened the door slowly.

Arthur walked in the moment Gaius opened the door. His face was completely ashen as he looked to Gaius. Gaius didn't need to second guess that the king had seen the crimson trail leading up to his chambers.

Arthur's breathing was quick and raspy as he searched every feature on the physician's face for a sign. Any sign that would tell him weather or not his one fear had been qualmed.

"Is he?" Arthur stammered.

A groan emanated from the upstairs room. Both Gaius and Arthur turned at the sound. Arthur stared at the room in disbelief. It wasn't until he saw something _move_ from inside the room that he turned and looked to Gaius.

"When!?" Arthur demanded.

"Stop...yuhling...at...Gaiuzz-" Merlin slurred.

Arthur gasped as he heard the voice that he'd nearly forgotten. Tears pooled in the kings eyes as he heard how hallow Merlin's voice sounded. Gaius watched as Arthur looked to him, jaw agape. A sly smile worked it's way across Arthur's face as he recognized the same dour tone Merlin often used in their brotherly banter.

"And I suppose...You're gonna get up off that cot n' stop me?" Arthur retorted, rolling his eyes.

Arthur took a step towards the upper room, but paused when Gaius took hold of Arthur's shoulder. Gaius gently turned the king towards him and braced him with an arm on each shoulder.

"Arthur?" Gaius spoke warningly.

"You must steel yourself sire..."

"Gaius I don't understa-" Arthur stated.

"He's very weak..." Gaius interrupted.

Arthur sighed heavily and looked down at the floor. He knew that he wanted to see Merlin more then anything. But the king felt his stomach churn as he didn't know if he could handle seeing Merlin in a bad way.

"I've seen many battle wounds Gaius." Arthur stated.

"Be that as it may..." Gaius answered.

"Morgana used a special kind of magic on Merlin..."

"What do you mean!?" Arthur stammered, his tone growing angry.

A sudden creak of the floor boards caused both Gaius and Arthur to jump slightly. Turning on his heal, Arthur and Gaius stopped their debate as they watched a pale figure stumble slowly towards them.

Merlin barely had his eyes open as he made his way towards Gaius and Arthur. He groaned slightly as he bumped into the table. Bracing himself against the table he looked to Arthur. With all his might Merlin opened his eyes as wide as he could and spoke.

"Arrre...yuh...gonna stopp...yuhling..." Merlin slurred.

"Orr...will I ...havve...tuh...Have to..."

Merlin's voice trailed off as he felt his arms begin to buckle under his weight. The room began to spin as Merlin suddenly remembered he had lost great deal of blood. Groaning, he sat down on his usual bench and rested his head upon the table.

"Merlin!?" Gaius boomed.

"I thought I told you to-"

"I'm sorry Gaius..." Merlin spoke, his voice muffled

Merlin's head jarred up suddenly as he looked to Gaius.

"I heard..Arrth...n' I juss had tah..ssee..."

A sudden chill cause Merlin's voice to trail off. Gaius heard Arthur wince as both men saw Merlin shudder. Arthur made his way to Merlin's side and rest his hand upon Merlin's shoulder, wincing as he felt Merlin flinch at his touch. Arthur crouched down and stared at Merlin.

"I dare say you'd blow away at any given moment..." Arthur stammered.

"We need to get him warm and dry.." Gaius stated.

Merlin shivered again.

"No...i'm...fffine...rrrealy.." Merlin quipped.

"Shut up Merlin." Arthur retorted, whilst smiling.

Merlin gasped as he heard the banter he had so longed to hear. Tears began to pool as he saw Arthur smile kindly at him. The whole trek home Merlin had thought of nothing more, then the very moment when he would be safe. Safely home. Safely surrounded by those he held in a most high regard. Merlin swiveled in his seat as he felt the dam burst. Merlin lurched forward as first cry fall from his lips. He hadn't the strength to quell his sorrow any more.

Arthur gasped as he saw Merlin turn away. He was puzzled as to why Merlin hadn't answered in his usual surly manor. It wasn't until he saw Merlin's shoulders shake that he knew something wasn't quite right. The moment he heard Merlin sob softly, he rose and made his way around Merlin. Sitting on his haunches Arthur placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

Merlin began to sob loudly as he felt Arthur tighten his grasp. Merlin had no idea one could feel so many different things at once. He was embarrassed at his emotional outburst whilst feeling content and safe. All his feelings were mingled with the pain that seemed to radiate from his side.

"Merlin, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to-" Arthur stammered, sniffing.

Merlin glanced up and met Arthur's gaze. He smiled briefly and dabbed his eyes with his sleeve. He then glanced sheepishly at the floor.

"You haven't upset me Arthur..." Merlin interrupted.

"I can't..help...it.."

More tears fell as Merlin's shoulders began to shudder. Arthur took Merlin's other shoulder and pulled him into a hug. Merlin cried harder as he felt Arthur wrap his arms around his frame. Arthur glanced up and looked to Gaius who had been standing back watching the two from afar. Gaius didn't stop the tears that fell as he saw Merlin finally let go of the facade he always seemed to put up around Arthur.

Arthur cocked his head slightly as he saw the old man's tears. Gaius smiled, and wiped his eyes dry. He then walked over and rested a hand on each man's shoulders. Looking to Arthur he spoke gently.

"Two brother's...have been reunited Arthur." Gaius stated glancing back and forth between each man.

"It's an overwhelming fact for even me to behold."

Arthur nodded, sniffing heavily.

"I'm...sorry...I'm sor-" Merlin cried, pushing back.

Arthur held tight to Merlin's shoulders.

"Merlin..." Arthur soothed.

"It's all right..."

Merlin's chin quivered as he heard the reassuring tone of Arthur's voice. His hand shook as it rose to dry his eyes. A sudden crack of thunder caused Merlin to shiver. He pulled his arms around his middle, holding tightly to his side.

"Arthur...I need to tend to his wound..." Gaius stated, stepping back.

"And we need to get some broth into his belly..." Arthur added, rising to a stand.

"No.." Merlin spat, moaning.

"No?" Arthur asked, looking to Merlin.

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"I don't think he'll be able to keep any food down." Gaius stated.

"I don't underst- " Arthur spat.

"Look at him Gaius! He's wasting away before our very eyes!"

"Merlin?" Gaius asked gently.

"You must tell us what Morgana did to-"

"Poison.." Merlin stuttered.

"Poison!?" Arthur yelled, standing suddenly.

"I should've known Morgana would stoop so low."

"What _kind_ of poison Merlin?" Gaius asked, placing a hand on Merlin's back.

"Man...drake.." Merlin slurred.

Arthur gasped as he saw Gaius pale as the words fell from Merlin's lips. The look that now befell Gaius's face spoke of dread. Gaius looked to Arthur and shook his head.

"I'm afraid there's only one way to truly rid Merlin of the poison." Gaius stated.

"Please Gaius..." Merlin stammered, glancing to Arthur and then to Gaius.

"I...can't... I won't...I-"

"Merlin, we have no choice..." Gaius answered softly.

"What do you mean Gaiu-" Arthur asked, furrowing his brow.

"He means to rid my stomach of all it's contents Arthur." Merlin interrupted dryly.

Arthur swallowed loudly.

"You're gonna make him...sick...on purpose Gaius?" Arthur asked.

Merlin sighed heavily and buried his head in his hands.

"It won't take much." Gaius stated.

"You've ...got that right!" Merlin added, frowning.

"I haven't been able to keep anything down for-"

"No, there has to be another way Gaius!" Arthur interupted.

Gaius shook his head slowly, and rested a hand on the kings shoulder. He sighed heavily as he looked to Merlin. Merlin was fully aware of what Gaius planned to do, but he was frightened. Because while Arthur was oblivious, Merlin knew that magic was the only thing that would fully rid him of the poison.

"Arthur, can you do something for me?" Gaius asked, turning to the king.

"Anything Gaius..." Arthur answered.

"Please go inform your knights that Merlin has returned." Gaius stated.

"And I'm sure Gwen will want to know as well."

Arthur hesitated before answering.

"Are you sure you'll be all right till I return Gaius?" Arthur asked.

Gaius noded.

"Very well." Arthur conceded.

"And I shall have a serpent clean up the..."

Arthur stopped when he saw more tears make their way down Merlin's cheek. Merlin turned his head away as he felt shame start to seep forward. Merlin jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"My boy..?" Gaius asked.

Merlin swiveled in his seat and faced his mentor. He warbled as the motion caused his head to spin. Gaius steadied him with each hand bracing the warlocks shoulders.

"You've nothing to be ashamed of." Gaius soothed, his voice wavering.

Gaius shook Merlin gently to drive home the fact. Merlin looked down and shook his head. More tears fell as Merlin realized Gaius hadn't changed in his ability to read his mind.

"Ashamed?" Arthur asked, crouching down.

Merlin glanced up and caught Arthur's gaze for a moment. Quickly he looked to the floor and shrugged.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked loudly.

Merlin tensed as he heard Arthur raise his voice. Gaius winced and looked over to Arthur.

"Really Arthur?" Gaius chided.

"Must you raise your voice now, of all times?"

Arthur sighed heavily.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked.

Merlin continued to stare at the floor. His mind continued to reel over how much he was causing Gaius and Arthur to worry. He was also mad at himself for not having grown more in strengthening his magic.  
"I truly am an idiot." Merlin spoke suddenly.

"You'd think, that after all we've been through..."

Merlin looked up and met Arthur's gaze.

"You'd think I'dve learnt how to defend myself better." Merlin stated.

"Or..or.. how to endure torture longer..."

"Merlin!" Arthur yelled.

Merlin jumped when he heard the tone in Arthur's voice. Arthur closed his eyes briefly as he fought to find the words to say to Merlin.

"The only thing that went through my mind whilst you were gone was..." Arthur stated.

But the moment the words fell from his lips, Arthur felt a lump rise in his throat. The past two months had gone by so slowly with out Merlin. And still it had seemed as if he was forever doomed to call out for Merlin, only to find silence answering him yet again. He hadn't really let it sink in that Merlin was finally home. Merlin saw Arthur's face crumble as he sought to find the words to say. Gaius reached over and placed a hand on the king's shoulder. He patted it gently. Arthur sniffed and cleared his throat.

"Merlin if anyone is to be ashamed..." Arthur stammered, his voice trembling.

"It should be...me.."


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin gasped as he saw Arthur's chin quiver. He reached over and took Arthur by the shoulder and shook it gently.

"Arthur.." Merlin stuttered.

"Merlin, I should've protected you better..." Arthur stammered.

"Arthur...You're the king..." Merlin said.

"You have the whole of Camelot to reign over. You needn't worry yourself over your servant's every move."

"Is that how you see yourself Merlin?" Arthur asked, meeting Merlin's gaze.

Merlin tut tuted and looked to the floor.

"I know I've never actually admitted it...But I'd really thought we were...well...friends, Merlin." Arthur stated.

Merlin's head shot up suddenly. Blinking several times Merlin tried to read the look that was now etched over Arthur's face. Arthur nodded subtly and turned to Gaius.

"Well.." Arthur uttered.

"I shall go inform the knights and Gwen that Merlin has returned."

"Sire.." Gaius answered, nodding slightly.

Arthur rose and headed towards the door. Suddenly he turned and faced Gaius and Merlin.

"Merlin...You've got to promise me...that...you'll not-" Arthur stammered.

"Die?" Merlin quipped, smiling.

Arthur felt a pang of joy mixed with sadness as he saw a hint of the familiar mischievous glint in Merlin's gaze. Merlin blinked as he saw Arthur smile. But the smile was barely a smile as Merlin noticed the odd look that donned Arthur's face.

"_Merlin_!" Gaius shouted, placing a hand on the warlocks shoulder.

Merlin closed his eyes, wincing as he heard the parental tone in Gaius's voice. He should have known better then to answer in his usual surly tone in front of Gaius. Turning, Merlin faced Gaius. Sighing heavily Gaius met Merlin's gaze. Gently he shook his head.

"Please..." Gaius spoke, his voice trembling.

"My heart can not bear such jests at this time..."

Merlin's gaze quickly fell to the floor. He barely noticed the tears that fell as he inwardly chided himself. He should have known better then to cause Gaius to worry more. Merlin couldn't help the sob that fell from his lips as he felt Giaus squeeze his shoulder gently.

"I'm... sorry..." Merlin spoke, his voice breaking.

Looking up he met Gaius's gaze. Shaking his head he reached up to dry his eyes.

"We just need time Merlin." Arthur stated.

Merlin glanced over to where Arthur stood. Arthur's hand trembled as he rubbed his weary temples. Arthur sniffed loudly before looking up.

"The silence that you left, has been overwhelming...And to hear...you...It's just..."

Merlin gasped as he he saw Arthur look away. Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. Merlin knew enough to sense when Arthur was trying to keep up the pretense of being brave.

"We missed you Merlin.." Gaius stammered.

"Truly..."

Merlin's shoulder's began to shake as the truth in Gaius's words seemed to bare down upon his frame. Shaking his head, he buried his head in his hands. Gaius tisked as he saw Merlin trying to hide his tears. As quickly as his weary frame would allow, Gaius knelt down and wrapped both hands around Merlin.

"Go now sire.." Gaius ordered quietly.

"Gaius?" Arthur questioned, taking a step forward.

"Gwen and the knight's need to know of Merlin's return..." Gaius answered.

Arthur saw the physician motion with his eyes towards Merlin. It suddenly struck the king, that Gaius was acting as the physician. And the physician's patient was too worked up at the moment. Arthur nodded, finally understanding. Gaius nodded in return as he saw the king smile kindly.

"Thank you, sire." Gaius spoke.

Arthur nodded, and made his way out of the physician's chambers. Gaius rubbed Merlin's back soothingly as he felt Merlin shiver suddenly. Merlin gasped and pushed away, and met Gaius's gaze.

"I really...am sorry Gaius..." Merlin stammered, wrapping his arms around his torso.

"I know..." Gaius uttered.

A sudden clap of thunder caused Merlin to jump.

"Easy Merlin!" Gaius yelled.

Merlin shivered once more.

"All right Merlin. Gaius said.

"I need you to do something for me..."

"Anything Gaius..." Merlin stuttered, his teeth chattering.

"The only thing that I know, that could keep you going in your current state is your magic Merlin." Gaius stated.

"My magic...?" Merlin asked, his voice hitching.

"But Gaius I-"

Gaius held up a hand, halting Merlin mid-sentance. He sighed heavily before he spoke.

"You can let your guard down now..." Gaius soothed.

Merlin bowed his head and sighed. He knew what Gaius was asking.

"Gaius, I-" Merlin chocked hoarsely.

"I...just...I can't."

"Merlin?" Gaius asked.

"It's all right."

Merlin's chin quivered as he heard the calm reassuring tone in Gaius's voice. He saw the man before him don a look of sympathy as he spoke. A sob fell from Merlin's lips as he saw Gaius nod slowly. Gaius rubbed Merlin's arm soothingly as he felt Merlin's whole frame grow taught. Merlin groaned as he let go of his magic. The pain seemed to leap forth as he felt his side radiate more viciously.

"Haven't I caused enough worry already Gaius?" Merlin spat.

Gaius gasped as he saw Merlin clench his jaw. With in moments Merlin's whole frame was shuddering. Merlin looked up and met Gaius gaze.

"If you don't stop using your magic, then I _will_ start to worry." Gaius retorted.

Merlin's legs began to tremble as he felt the pain make it's way through his entire body. He winced as he felt a familiar wave of nausea pass over him. Gaius saw Merlin pale suddenly and quickly put his hand to Merlin's forehead.

"Merlin?" Gaius asked.

Merlin moaned miserably as he leaned forward, and placed his head between his legs. Gaius saw the tell tale signs and rose to a stand. Quickly Gaius rose, and made his way over to the bucket still sitting where he'd left it before. Gaius swore under his breath as he saw the contents from Merlin's prior episode still remained. Gaius sighed heavily, and cast an incantation. A small puff of smoke rose as Gaius made his way over to Merlin and placed a newly clean bucket at Merlin's feet.

"Merlin, just breathe..." Gaius soothed as he knelt down.

Merlin peaked through one eye, and then looked to Gaius. Gaius shrugged and nodded slowly. Shaking his head Merlin leaned forward, and wrapped his arms around his sides. Slowly Merlin began to chant a healing incantation. The words came out slurred as his voice trembled as he spoke. Gaius knelt down and brace Merlin's shoulder's as he saw Merlin was trembling even more. A quick glance to Merlin's side told Gaius the wound was still bleeding.

The moment the incantation was finished Merlin cringed as he felt his magic take hold of the poison. Every part of his weary frame began to scream in protest as the poison swept over the warlocks being in jarring waves. Merlin couldn't help but jolt every time he felt his magic shift the poison. Slowly, Merlin felt the poison make it's way to the one part of his body that could rid him of the contents naturally. Merlin whimpered as he felt his stomach churn ominously.

"Out with it Merlin." Gaius ordered, rubbing Merlin's shoulder.

Merlin breathed loudly as the nausea took hold. Merlin looked to Gaius and shook his head.

"I...don't know...if I can Gaius..." Merlin rasped.

"Merlin, you must." Gaius answered, his voice wavering.

"Gaius...I'm..so tired..." Merlin slurred.

"I know Merlin..." Gaius soothed.

Suddenly Merlin lurched forward as the poison surged forward. Merlin heaved with all his might. Every wave of sickness seemed to drain him more then the last as he coughed between bouts. Gaius held tighter to Merlin as he felt the warlock's trembling increase. It seemed that time came to a stand still as Merlin felt as though he couldn't stop the heaving.

Suddenly, the door burst open. Arthur burst forward and made his way over to Gaius and Merlin. He groaned as he saw Merlin so sick. Arthur couldn't help but panic as he saw Merlin was trembling badly.

"Gaius?" Arthur asked.

"Hold his side Arthur." Gaius ordered.

"Oh God..." Merlin mumbled.

Merlin winced the moment he felt Arthur shove his hand away from his side. Arthur placed his hand over Merlin's wound and pressed down hard. Arthur's breath caught as he felt Merlin tense at the pressure.

"Easy Merlin.." Arthur soothed.

Merlin coughed as he felt his stomach start to calm itself. Glancing over his shoulder, Merlin saw Arthur's gaze was fixed on his the wound. Gaius rose and carried the bucket over to the window. Emptying the contents, Gaius turned and made his way back to Merlin and Arthur. He placed the bucket with in Merlin's grasp and turned to made his way to Merlin's room.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked quietly.

Merlin looked to Arthur. The moment his eyes fell upon Arthur's face, Merlin frowned inwardly as he saw lines of worry had etched their way upon his features. Arthur wrapped his other arm around Merlin's shoulder. Merlin was still breathing rapidly as the effects from his bout of sickness slowly began to ware off.

"Auth...I'm..sssorr-" Merlin started.

"Don't you dare!" Arthur interrupted sharply.

Merlin jumped as he heard Arthur's voice hitch. Sighing, Merlin dropped his gaze to the floor.

"I'm sorry Merlin...I didn't mean...I just..."Arthur stammered.

"You've nothing to be sorry for."

Merlin shivered as he felt a chill work up his spine. Arthur held tighter to Merlin's shoulder's as he felt Merlin's frame grow taught. Gaius came back into the room and placed a pile of blankets and clothes before the examination table. Merlin glanced up and saw Gaius hurrying to make room on the table. His gaze then fell to the pile at the foot of the table. Merlin groaned as the thought of what lay a head.

"Arthur?" Gaius asked.

Arthur glanced up and saw Gaius standing next to the barren table. Nodding slowly, he stood slowly. Merlin groaned as he felt Arthur pull him to a stand. The moment he was on his feet, Merlin felt the room tilt suddenly. Closing his eyes, Merlin willed the room to still it self. Arthur gasped as he felt Merlin's frame fell listlessly to the side. Reaching out, Arthur caught Merlin and steadied him.

"Easy, easy!" Arthur yelled.

"Quickly sire!" Gaius yelled.

"I can't...guh-" Merlin panted.

"I can't...I-"

Suddenly, Merlin's head bobbed forward as his legs gave out. Upon seeing Merlin collapse, Arthur held Merlin tighter. Swiftly, Arthur gathered Merlin in his arms and carried him over to the make-shift examination table. Arthur couldn't help but gasp out loud the moment he lay Merlin down. He shook his head as he realized how small Merlin looked.

"It's all right Arthur..." Gaius stammered, clasping Arthur's shoulder.

"Gaius I..." Arthur stammered, looking the physician in the eye.

"I barely felt his weight in ...in my arms...-"

Gaius nodded. He knew full well that they needed to act quickly. Merlin was indeed in a bad way. Leaning forward, Gaius placed a hand over Merlin's nose. A smile worked it's way across the physician's face as he felt Merlin's breathing was even.

"We must count our blessings Arthur." Gaius stated, looking up to Arthur.

Arthur's brow furrowed as he questioned Gaius.

"I dare say we wouldn't have an easy time dressing his wounds and getting him out of his soaking tunic if he were conscious..." Gaius quipped.

Arthur snorted suddenly, and put his hand to his mouth. A deep chuckle emanated from Gaius as he patted Arthur's shoulder jokingly. Arthur dropped his hand suddenly, and gulped out loud.

"Gaius...You don't mean we're going to remove-" Arthur asked nervously.

Gaius sighed heavily and nodded. He knew it was inevitable. Seeing Arthur pale slightly, Gaius knew Arthur felt the same as he did about addressing all of Merlin's infirmity's. Dressing Merlin's wound and purging him of the poison were the least of his worry's as Gaius took in what was needed to aid Merlin's recovery.

"Arthur, if you'd like me to get one of the knights to help, I'll send for -" Gaius stated.

"No." Arthur interrupted.

Arthur shook his head and looked down. Even in his unconscious state Merlin continued to shiver violently. Merlin looked so pale and helpless. But as Arthur stared at his friend who lay there barely breathing, bleeding, and cold, Arthur knew he needed to swallow his pride. Arthur knew Merlin would be embarrassed when he awoke. But that was unimportant. Looking up, Arthur looked Gaius in the eye.

"I...am _not_ leaving his side." Arthur stated.


End file.
